Do you want to know the truth about any online Hotty?
Follow these three steps and you will!
Wouldn’t you love to correspond with only online
prospects that met your requirements? Think that’s
impossible to do before you meet them? It’s not
impossible! You can choose suitable dates before you meet
them. By following these three steps you’ll be able to
read a prospect’s profile and read between the lines.
You’ll be able to get a reading on how they measure up on
qualities that are important to you and qualities that are
absolutely deal breakers.
Here’s what you need to do. A. Know What You Want
1. You need to figure out exactly what you want out of
a partner. I am always amazed to discover how many of my
clients don’t know what they want. What are the three
absolute must haves for your potential mate?
It’s usually best to choose internal qualities versus
external qualities. For example, “slim” is an external
quality—it can come or go depending on physical mobility,
hormones, medications etc. “Fitness oriented” is an
internal and therefore immutable quality. Regardless of
the circumstances, this person will strive to be fit.
Another example is affluent which depends upon
circumstances such as the stock market, or the job market,
or other possible slings and arrows. Industrious, on the
other hand, is an internal immutable quality. Here’s a
list of some positive qualities (it is by no means
exhaustive): a. Honest
b. Transparent
c. Generous
d. Compassionate
e. Expressive
f. Intelligent
g. Courageous
h. Creative
i. Loyal
j. Faithful
k. Industrious
l. Frugal
m. Adventurous
n. Determined
o. Easy going
p. Good sense of humor
q. Integritous
r. Secure
2. Now come up with three deal breakers. You can turn
any of the above into a deal breaker by making it the
negative, e.g., unfaithful, no integrity, lazy (as opposed
to industrious), spendthrift, unimaginative, Here’s a
non-exhaustive list of negative qualities, or qualities
that may make it hard to be with someone… a. Addicted
b. Self-absorbed
c. Lazy
d. Selfish
e. Angry
f. Non-expressive
g. Rigid
h. Controlling
i. Insecure
j. Immoral
k. Unfaithful
l. Opportunistic
m. Jealous
n. Explosive
o. Weak
p. Fearful
q. Uncaring
r. Rude
s. Withholding
B. Find (Intuit) the Qualities You’ve Identified. Go
online and browse through random profiles. The randomness
is VERY important because it’s easier to build up your
intuition muscle when you’re not attached to the outcome.
Capisce?
1. Find some one with a MUST HAVE quality. Read as many
profiles as you need to until you find at least one that
says integrity to you (an example of a ‘must have’). You
do not have to be the least bit attracted to this person!
You just have to be able to read the profile and have it
resonate integrity through and through. Try rating it on a
scale of 1 – 10. (It should probably be up there at 8.5
and above to qualify as an “I have this quality”. If this
is difficult for you, go to my website,
www.empowermentdating.com to get some more tips! Or ask a
friend to help you.
2. Find someone with one of your MUST NOT HAVE
qualities. This could be harder because prospects do not
describe in detail their bad points! None-the-less, it is
possible. Just keep reading until you come to someone’s
profile who says Unreliable between the lines.
C. Start Rating Those Prospects!
Now comes the fun part. Go to an appealing prospect.
Take each of the three qualities and rate this person on
each of these qualities. Just try and use your intuition
(you have it, you just may have to learn how to access
it). For example, let’s say that you wanted your
prospective partner to be integritous, industrious, and
faithful. Just put a number (1 -10) next to each one. The
key in doing this exercise is to NOT THINK TOO hard about
it. This is also a really good time to get someone else’s
feedback (once again you can go to my website and take
advantage of a great collaborative offer!) or call a
friend.
You may not be able to get a reading on every quality
in every prospect. This can happen for a variety of
reasons:
• The online dating service’s questions don’t allow for
full expression.
• The quality in question is not hugely important to the
prospect.
• The prospect is ambivalent about the quality in question
(i.e., knows it’s important to be faithful, but is too
scared to commit to just one person).
• Some people are less transparent than others.
Dr. Lauren Outland, renowned personal coach, has been
quoted in Redbook, First for Women, and Fitness magazines.
As an expert in spiritual and personal growth, she has
written articles for The Jewish Journal, and the
Palisadean Post. Lauren has a unique ability to find the
obstacles that hold people back from realizing whatever
they long for, and the resources to get free of these
obstacles. Lauren is passionate about helping you find a
satisfying and luscious relationship. She is committed to
your empowerment and specializes in giving you the tools
to help you solve problems and thrive. Visit her online at
http://www.empowermentdating.com
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