Dating is a crazy thing. Most people on our society
haven't figured it out.
But it's pretty cool once you've gotten it figured,
like my good friend and parter Vincent DiCarlo.
Allow me to share with you Vin's Three Rules of Dating:
1) Have it be convenient for you.
2) Keep it inexpensive.
3) Make sure you can talk where you're at.
Or, if you prefer, The Three C's of Dating:
C1) Convenient.
C2) Cheap.
C3) Conversation.
This will give you the best chance to get the girl.
Dates that are not Convenient for you will make you seem
like you're working hard to impress her, or of low status.
For this reason, don't drive three hours to see her, and
certainly don't plan a grand production with a limo and a
string quartet for your first dat.
Cheap! Cheap is good. Cheap is no pressure. A woman
would rather have a pleasant walk through a park with a
guy that's no pressure than go out to eat an expensive
restaurant that's heavy pressure. As a general rule, the
more something costs, the more pressure is involved. Also,
women don't want to feel like you're trying to buy their
attention. For these reasons, it's actually better to keep
dates cheap. I'm not saying BE cheap, I'm saying go on
inexpensive dates.
And conversation, the all important thing that lets you
find about each other. You need a date that lets
conversation go smoothly and easily.
Here's a pop quiz - What are the two most common dates?
If you answered movies and dinner, you're correct. But
both violate cardinal rules of dating.
With a movie, there's no chance for conversation. For
two hours, you're sitting there in the dark and can't
really talk. That's all well and good if you're with your
girlfriend, but on the first few dates, you don't want
that. And as an additional negative, movies are getting
more and more expensive these guys. It could cost $30 for
two tickets, popcorn, and drinks these days. How it costs
that much is beyond me, but that's too expensive for a
first day for sure.
Dinner. Well, dinner's not cheap. Even cheap dinner's
not cheap. So she might feel like you're trying to buy her
attention, which is always bad. It makes women
uncomfortable, and makes her think you're of low status.
Like you need to buy her attention.
But here's something many people don't realize about
dinner: It's bad for conversation. You're sitting directly
across from each other with very little subject matter
except for menus. There's lots of pressure, and if the
conversation slows down, it can be awkward, which wouldn't
be the case in many of the dates I'm about to suggest for
you. Planning dinner as part of a date is no good, so
leave it alone.
Good Dates:
Remember, you want your dates to be Convenient, Cheap,
and be able to have some nice Conversation. How to do
that?
A favorite 'date suggestion' from me is coffee. I like
coffee, since you've got options. You go get a cup of java
with her on a Saturday afternoon. If she shows up and
turns out to be the type of girl you don't like (either
she's not physically your type on further inspection, or
has nothing going on upstairs) then you can leave no
problem.
But if she turns out to be an awesome girl? After
coffee, you can go grab a slice of pizza. Yes, it's okay
to eat on dates... making your date itself getting a meal
is bad, but if you're spending time together and get
hungry, go eat. You're basically treating her like someone
you're very comfortable with. If you went to get coffee
with a close friend, or one of your relatives that you
like, and got hungry, you'd say let's go grab a bite to
eat. No pressure there.
Here's a great line if you're at coffee: "You hungry?"
If she answers yes, you say, "Okay me too, let's grab a
slice of pizza." If she says no, you say, "That's okay,
you can watch me eat." The second one, in particular, gets
wonderful results and you just eat something light in
front of her and keep conversing.
Other things: Walk around and look at touristy stuff if
you live in a city. Believe it or not, most people never
see the sites in their home city. I live on the East
Coast, and I've never seen the Statue of Libery in New
York City, never walked the Freedom Trail in Boston, and
haven't been to any of the memorials in Washington D.C. Of
course, I've seen all the touristy stuff in London and
Mexico City and many western states, but that's the point.
If you walk down the road from where you live to some
historical monument, it's a great time, and there's a good
chance she's never been there.
Of course, if you're not in your home city, fun little
places still work too. You can have her some you around a
bit, which is good.
As I mentioned earlier, I like coffeeshops. Starbucks-esque
places are okay, but I really like artistic coffee shops,
with different music and fun things to look at. My
favorite coffeeshop of all time had different music
playing every time I went, interesting local art on the
walls, and one of the large unisex bathrooms had
floor-to-ceiling chalkboards lining all four walls. People
would write poetry and draw pictures on the chalkboards,
or just sign their name. Let me tell you, my friend, that
was the easiest bathroom in the world to get your date
into with you!
Another date I like: Window shopping. If you walk
through a mall, there's going to be plenty of interesting
stores. You can have a cup of coffee if you like coffee
(or tea or hot chocolate or whatever), and walk around
looking at interesting things. One of my favorite shops is
a large kitchen shop with all sorts of cool things.
They've got all sorts of crazy cooking instruments,
various pots and steamers for all different types of
cuisine, recipes and sauces , cool looking plates, and
anything and everything else you could imagine. From
there, it's really easy to situationally relevantly talk
about what she can cook, and what she's going to cook for
you!
Walk into whatever stores you please. Just be careful
with Victoria's Secret: Vincent once was in Victoria's
with a girl he was on a date with, holding up lingerie and
talking about she'd look good in. His date was loving it,
eating it up, but then her friend walked over! Yikes, Vin
tells me the girl blushed pretty hard.
Other places to go: Walks through parks, and by rivers
and ponds. Free or cheap baseball games, either a local
team's or even a nearby school's. Iceskating and
rollerskating are actually pretty good first dates.
They're cheap if you go on their discount night (it's
Tuesday at my favorite rollerskating place), it's
convenient for me, and it's great for conversation. And by
the way, I'm not exactly the best rollerskater in the
world. In fact, I'll admit it: I'm downright terrible.
But it works well anyway! I say to her as we're walking
in, "Okay, I can't skate at all, so you're going to have
to kinda 'be the guy' and hold my hand and make sure I
don't fall over," said half-kiddingly. And to top it off,
when we get our skates, I say, "You got this one?"
Meaning, "Are you paying?" They do most of the time, and
it sets a good frame.
Alright, so you've gone on a fun date or two with her.
First you met for coffee, then walked around and went
window shopping and looked at stores, had a bite to eat,
and parted. Second date, you went rollerskating or to one
of those fun museums like the Spy Museum in D.C. Now, you
want to have her over to your place. What's a good date
for that?
Cooking dinner with her.
One of the best dates before you sleep with a woman.
Not so good first date, but after that, it's great. Now, I
don't want to hear you can't cook - I can't, either. I
make exactly one dish well that doesn't involve grilling.
But that's all I need. I make a spaghetti with a mushroom
and onion meat sauce, and French bread. It's not hard.
Learn one dish, or just have a general idea of what you
want to make. Then go over to her place with the
ingrediants, or have her come over to yours. From there,
give her duties as you cook. I have my date stir the pasta
or sauce while I dice up vegetables and get the meat
ready.
After we make a mess cooking, we wash up and chat
waiting for dinner to finish. Then we eat dinner, and
maybe a little fresh fruit at the end. Having her feed you
strawberries is a nice touch if you can pull it off.
And from there, use your imagination. When it comes
time to bring them to the bedroom, remember to use
situational relevance. So you can either start kissing her
in the living room, then bring her by the hand to the
bedroom, or you can say there's something interesting in
your bedroom that she just needs to see...
--
Sebastian Drake has been writing in the fields of
Seduction, Diplomacy, and Leadership for the past five
years. In the past two years, he has won praise and
accolodates for his oustanding and effective coaching on
live programs, workshops, and seminars. He is a cofounder
of the Approach: The Science of Social Chemistry for
the Modern Gentleman, bringing profound lifestyle
changes to any man's social, romantic, and sex life.
Get your FREE PDF report: Creating an Attractive
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