|
In life I think it's fair to say that women drew the
short straw enduring monthly periods, PMT, giving birth
and the menopause; all producing more hormones than she,
and anyone within arms length distance, can cope with.
But if she is 30 something and single the joy of being
a woman doesn't stop there! She is in a race against time
to meet a man (preferably sexy!), fall in love, get him to
fall in love her, move in together, get married, have a
baby (the latter two in no particular order as long as
they happen!) and live happily ever after.
The reality though is that many women diarise "settling
down" for their early 30s; devoting their 20s to getting a
career, travelling, socialising and having fun. There are
also the ones who, despite actively dating in search of
their perfect partner since early adulthood, simply
haven’t found “the one”.
After revelling in her 20s footloose and fancy free,
from the day she hits 30 her carefree attitude screeches
to an abrupt halt; Mother Nature is suddenly occupying all
her thoughts and her biological clock is ticking getting
faster and louder as each day, month and year passes still
with no sign of “the one” entering her life.
Of course, for the 30 something single men of the world
this is not a concern; nature gave them the choice to put
fatherhood on hold, worry free, until their 40s, 50s even
60s. So is this why 30 something women find a gap in the
dating scene and are unable to find someone of a similar
age to settle down with? Are the 30 something men busy
dating but staying single until later in life because they
know that when the time is right (for them) reproducing
won’t be a problem?
It’s a sad fact that society portrays 30 something
single men and women completely different. 30 something
single women are labelled “out of date goods left on the
shelves” whereas 30 something single men are given a pat
on the back and told to enjoy their freedom while they
can. Although TV programmes like Sex in the City and
Desperate Housewives have helped to change peoples
opinions of single women over 30, the fact remains that if
she wants children the natural way (i.e. without a sperm
donor) she needs a man.
So with no sight of a man on the horizon, she feels
under pressure not only from herself but also from those
around her to get on the dating scene and meet the
father-to-be of her children. Her parents will say, “Why
can’t she meet a good man and settle down?" her friends
will say, "Shall we fix her up on a date with [John]?" and
then there are the sniggering colleagues who will say,
"She must be a lesbian!"
Whilst some of them may have her best interests at
heart, she should not feel forced into a relationship to
please everyone else. The problem she faces however is
that, as a woman of the world, she knows exactly what
qualities she is looking for in her partner and her
standards are set so high that the men she dates often
don’t make the grade.
What she may have to do therefore is accept that not
everyone is perfect and compromise on her “tick list”. She
needs to put things in perspective and ask herself if it
really matters that he doesn’t own a flash car or that he
wears awful shoes. (It can sometimes be non-important
things why women will reject a man.) She should also be
careful not to discuss marriage and babies in the early
dating stages; men are aware that a women in her 30s is
looking for someone to father her children and if she
comes across desperate, she will have most men running for
the hills!
Ok, so she knows what she wants and she’s willing to
compromise but where will a 30 something single woman meet
the love of her life? Is it at work, through friends, in a
bar/club, at a party or an online dating agency?
Whilst it is recommended to explore all methods of
dating in order to increase your opportunities, not all of
them will appeal to everyone. Take a 35 year old friend of
mine for instance whom recently became single. It's not
that she didn't want to settle down in her 20s, she just
didn't meet the right man. She has, however, reached the
conclusion that the likelihood of meeting someone in a bar
or club who is potential “marriage material” is highly
unlikely.
Whilst the majority of the 30 something single men she
meets are happy to flirt, probably even happier to take
her to bed, they do not want to commit to a relationship
and jeopardise their freedom. Other rejects consist of men
already in relationships looking for no strings fun or toy
boys looking to put an older woman notch on their bedpost.
Only recently she dated someone whom she met in a bar
who told her he was 27 years old (still younger than her
but an acceptable age she thought). If I say that they
became intimate very quickly, you’ll know what I mean!
Whilst this was not something she would normally do, she
felt a connection and it had been a while so she thought
“Hell, why not!” Afterwards, she felt it only right to
tell him her age. "You do know how old I am don't you?"
she asked. "About 26/27?” he replied." (He certainly knew
where his bread was buttered!), "No, I'm 35". "Well I
suppose it's only fair I'm honest with you too ", he
continued, "I'm actually only 19". "19!" she exclaimed.
Immediately there was no future in this relationship and
her hopes of finding “the one” had once again been dashed.
Turn the tables round (him 35, her 19) and it could
have been a different story…. but that's for another day.
If you are experiencing similar problems finding a
partner, why not give online dating a try? You will find
men and women of all ages whose profiles will provide
details of their age and whether they are looking for fun,
love or marriage so you know from the start if you both
have the same goals.
Alison Edwards runs
http://www.SnappyDates.com/ a UK based dating site.
Registration is free.
Your goal is our aim: SnappyDates – Snappy Results!
Copyright © 2005 Dorado Enterprises Limited - All
Rights Reserved. Permission to reprint this article is
granted if the article is reproduced in its entirety,
without editing, including the bio information. Please
include a hyperlink to
http://www.SnappyDates.com/ when using this article in
newsletters or online.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/ |
