It’s the big night. You’ve paid your
$25, and you’re
about to face a crowded room of singles who, like
yourself, are looking for love. You’ll get to go on
seven-minute Speed Dates with ten of them, and hopefully
leave with a phone number or two.
Hopefully.
Wait one minute. We’re going to turn that “hopefully”
into an “absolutely”. You are going to absolutely leave
the Speed Dating session tonight with some phone
numbers.
“But how?” you ask.
With a few little tips, that’s how. Listen up.
Appearance
No matter how you look at it, the first minute of your
seven minute date will be spent sizing each other up.
Appearances may not mean everything in a relationship,
but on Speed Dates they carry a lot of weight. If you’ve
just met a girl, and your shirt clashes horribly with
your pants, your hair is a mess, and your deodorant is
not working properly and you’ve got big sweat marks
under your arms, chances are she’ll write you off in
that very first minute. She’ll be sitting there praying
for the seven minutes – which now seem like an eternity
in hell – to please end.
To avoid this scenario, take some time before your Speed
Dating session to pick out some clothes that impress. As
the saying goes: “Dress for success.” Wear something
that looks neat and put together. Keeping it simple is
usually best. (Wild clothing and hair styles should be
saved for punk rock Speed Dating sessions.) You want to
stand out in the crowd, but not in a negative way. Oh,
and make sure that those clothes are properly ironed!
Also make sure your hair is neatly groomed, your breath
is fresh, and your deodorant is working. Some cologne or
perfume (for the girls) in moderation never hurts – but
don’t take a bath in it. Basically, if you look good,
you’ll feel good. Your date will sense that, and your
chances of having a high mark on his or her scorecard
will be greater.
Attitude
If appearance isn’t everything, then attitude certainly
is.
Attitude is important in both personality and in body
language. For example, don’t slouch when sitting across
from your date. Sit tall and confident. A confident
person is desirable; they know what they want and go
after it. Don’t bite your nails, crack your knuckles, or
yawn. It’s ok to be a little nervous, but don’t let your
nerves dominate the date. In the end, your date will
remember cringing as you bit the skin off of your thumb.
Most importantly, go on the date with a smile and a
sense of humour. Let your date see that you’re having
fun. If you radiate a sense of fun, humour, and
happiness, your date will be attracted to that and want
to see you again. Make eye contact, and show your date
that he or she has your complete attention. Make them
feel like they are the only person in that crowded room.
You may want to give your date a compliment, but make
sure it’s just one. Overdoing the compliments will make
you look insincere. Really, how many times can you
compliment a person you’ve only known for a few minutes?
And remember: never, ever insult anyone or make fun of
anything during your date. You don’t know the type of
person your date is, and it could be that you somehow
end up insulting them. Politics, religion, race, and
other sensitive topics should be avoided at all costs.
This is a date, remember – not a debate.
If you happen to be a shy person, and feel uncomfortable
making small talk with a stranger, keep in mind that to
your date, you can be just about anyone. They don’t have
to know you are shaking in your shoes. Have confidence.
If you are that worried about what to talk about with
your date, have some topics planned in advance of going.
But don’t make it sound like you’re reading them off of
a list. Let your conversation sound natural.
If anything is going to win your date over in the end,
it’s simplicity, politeness, sincerity, and a smile.
Speed Dating is simplified dating. Don’t complicate it.
With that said, good luck. Now go out there and get
those phone numbers!
©
2005. All rights reserved
Jill Dellamalva writes for
Speed Dating . com
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