Speed dating
is today’s ingenious answer to today’s fast-paced life.
Hey, if we have come to an age where you can talk to
somebody in ‘real-time’ across the globe through the
Internet then surely ‘dating’ several people in one night
was not far behind right?
Speed dating is now a worldwide phenomenon; the answer to
every hectic single’s fervent wish. You see, with speed
dating, there need not be a predicament between dedication
to work and investing time in finding a lifetime partner.
Everybody participating in a speed dating event knows that
time is of the essence and that one has to balance that
sensitive scale between putting his or her best foot
forward and coming across as honest and earnest. Yes
folks, all that in 3, 5 or 7 minutes (depending on your
state).
Once you decide to get involved in speed dating events,
don’t go wistfully saying “I’ll just go for the heck of
it”. If you are busy enough that you wish to go speed
dating, then prepare enough to make the most of it! If you
go to speed dating events without effort or preparation,
you may be defeating the purpose of the exercise, which is
to show the best YOU, and to find your perfect match in
the process. The add-on benefit is having a time-saving
technique through this creative mechanism. If you are not
yet familiar with speed dating, let me run you through its
origin and mechanics.
Speed dating is a technique originating from the Jewish,
which aimed to help pair up their singles in marriage. In
a speed dating event, you will be asked by the dating
service provider to go to a pre-arranged venue. You
proceed to your first date in a table where you are
allowed to talk for a fixed amount of minutes. After this
time, you are given the signal to go to another table
where you will have the chance to talk to another partner
or ‘date’, again for the same number of minutes. All
things happen in a flash so those minutes are golden!
So how do you prepare? Satisfy the senses.
Be attractive.
Nobody denies that real beauty is not just all about
clothes and figures. But a little dressing never hurt
anybody either. Dress attractively during speed dates, but
not too attractively to the point that you are already a
distraction. Once you have made yourself up for the event,
do a quick test by checking if your get-up and your
accessories are too distracting. Remember, make him/her
look at your face. Eye contact is one of the surest ways
to convey both sincerity (in what you say) and interest
(in him/her).
For men, items that convey security and authority are
good. You may want to wear a decent suit or watch, or
bring along your mobile or other electronic gadgets (but
do put these in silent mode!). Wear colours that project
status such as black, grey, navy blue or brown. These
colours may not be too advisable for women. To project
approachability, wear more toned down earth colours, or
those which are light or pastel shades. As a woman, you
need not establish financial security or your capacity of
being a good provider. You just need to create an
impression of approachability at first. Believe me, you
may threaten or even scare away your date by your manner
of dressing.
Talk and listen.
Here, we talk about appropriate topics during speed dating
events. There are two simple rules: (1) highlight your
strengths and (2) downplay your weaknesses. Bear in mind
that you only have a couple of minutes to create a
positive impression on your date. You will not carry this
out successfully by narrating how miserable your past was,
how tragically your parents divorced before when you were
two years old, how you were cheated by your past
girlfriends or how you are desperately trying to find a
better paying job. Talk about positive things, brilliant
ideas, and sensible issues.
Listen to your date! Don’t forget that you are BOTH
looking for the same thing tonight – a potential partner.
So don’t be so full of yourself that you don’t give your
date enough minutes to talk. Don’t forget that you too
need to decide whether you want to see this person again,
so do pay attention to what your date has to say.
To promote a positive atmosphere, start off by
establishing commonalities. Start with common hobbies or
pastimes and delve just a bit deeper by asking about
values and goals. Your date will understand as you do only
have a couple of minutes!
Cue in to your date.
Sometimes, nothing speaks louder than the little things
one does during a date, yes, those non-verbal cues that
you send to or receive from your date. According to Patti
Wood, a nationally respected body language expert, you
want to project that you are a “safe” and approachable
target. Women then should not take up a lot of space
because this connotes power and authority. The contrary is
applicable for men. Wear bulky and conservative clothing
to project power and status.
Some don’ts: don’t chew gum, ice or fingernails (this may
be a sign of anxiety or frustration), fold your arms
(which may signify being unapproachable). Do nod and lean
forward when your partner is talking. These signify
interest and enthusiasm in what your partner is saying.
And of course, smile. It’s a universal, positive cue.
One last fact that may motivate you to make your first
impression a good one. In speed dating, you only have four
seconds to make an impact on the other person as someone
he or she may want to date again (and you think 7 minutes
was too short). Go on, never get tired of the search and
the chase. Who knows? The person on the next table might
just be The One.
© 2005. All rights reserved
Lan writes for Speed Dating . com - Speed Dating
Information, Articles, Reviews and Links to the best Speed
Dating Sites on the Internet.
|
